Perfect Love and Katerina Souvorova

The year draws to a close and the world appears to have darkened just to heighten the juxtaposition of the light of God being born to save the world. Despite wearing my pink bunny slippers I feel as though I'm holding my breath...mostly in excitement for the season, mostly in wonder at the comfort of God's mercy to me and yet, at moments, in fear too. How I could I fear facing the unknown chasms of tomorrow?... How could I not have faith when each little babushka doll nestled inside of me holds promises fulfilled and even exceeded by God?....How...kind of God to give me opportunities to confront my fears and dissapointments to find His perfect love. "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18

No, this hasn't been one of spectacular years where every sock in your laundry matches up, but it has been one where I have been seemingly confronted time and again with the truths that are trustworthy and steadfast: the assurance that after I die I will go to heaven and that while I live, God is my father and I don't need to fear his judgement or wrath because of His Son. In this Christmas season, it always affects me so deeply that though Mary didn't understand all that her Son was saying...she treasured all the moments of her time with Him because her trust was in the Father and the promise that He made to her.

And how kind of God not to stop at my salvation, but to give me other dear little moments to appreciate recently:

-being able to watch Bill and Amy take care of and enjoy the precious gift of a new baby...laughing as they talk about the "pee" cloth (what the heck...who knew we would ever be talking about that, haha)

-laying on Jane's zillion tread count sheets and hearing her read poetry ...like I imagine another sweet jane or elinor would
do for Elizabeth or Marianne in a Jane Austen novel...

-Like an idiot deciding to read Lamentations 3 to a friend I visited in the hospital hospital on Monday, obviously not recalling how many times human organs are mentioned! She seemed encouraged anyway... (hopefully).

-After much anticipation and after I ended up whispering into the boughs of different trees (probably to the embrassment of my companion), "....are you katerina souvorova?" we finally found the perfect sucessor to Olaf, our portly christmas tree from last year! She wholly fit the facetious description of a real life katerina, described to my roommates and I, "as a bear of a woman." ...Perfectly buxom and plump. Usually, I like to pick the most helpless charlie brown tree that will most likely get looked over, but I knew as soon as I saw her standing there with all the other orphan trees, shivering in the cold night, she would come home with us.


"Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you." "Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?" But they did not understand what he was saying to them. Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. " Luke 2